Why I Sold My Dream Home

At the beginning of the year, we shared that we were getting ready to sell our home. I've had so many ask or rather exclaim, "WHY?!? It's so beautiful? Why would you move???"

And well, yes, this is a great question. Why would I move from a home that has everything one could want or need? A beautiful 72 acres of forest in my backyard, a solidly built brand new home in the country, land to grow food, an ensuite to die for, a kitchen designed to my liking, a back sunroom with forest views and lots of light, lots of space for kids to play, an organic farm store down the road...the list goes on.

Why would I move?

There were two things driving this decision. A decision I had to really convince my husband to get on board with. You see, he was going to retire here. He wasn't going anywhere. So what changed?

I've always known this house and me didn't gel but it was made more clear to me during a re-training I attended for Soul Parent | Spiritual Child TM, back in the fall. We were discussing how we feel in our home environment. What do we feel when we walk in the door? Well, I feel dread, chaos, overwhelm, exhaustion and just plain lost and ungrounded. Not everyday is like this but this really does feel like this most days. Why would someone feel these things in a beautiful new home with a loving husband and 3 awesome kids?

It became very clear to me that I lived in the house for two and a half years and I still didn't have a safe space for myself. A space I could retreat too when everything was messy, noisy and too much. It was interesting to reflect on how much I tried to make so many different spaces in the home work for me. I moved my desk a bunch of times. I bought different things for different spaces or rooms that I thought would make it feel better. I even mentally told myself it was different things like, the basement is too cold, we need a dishwasher...lets just reno the entire kitchen…there's no light in that room at night so that's why I don't sit in there...etc etc etc. So we fixed up all those things and moved this here and that there and still I didn't feel good in my home because I didn't have a room to call my own. I didn't have a room with a door and a lock (even from my bedroom to my ensuite!!!).

See, the self healing work I've been doing through these programs over the last year have helped me be able to get to a place where mess doesn't bother me (I unschool three kids, so the house will never be clean and perfect all the time) however, I have realized that I do need moments in my day where I can escape the mess and the chaos and take a breath and reconnect to myself in a mess free space. It's a necessity if I want to be present to my family. I need to be present to myself and set aside time to do that. I need clean and clear to untangle my mind and it wouldn't be fair to hard hammer my kids to sit perfect and not touch anything ever. Our house is a very open concept house. Which can be great with kids but can also be not so great with kids. There's no balance if there's no space for Mama.

So how was I going to convince my husband to move from his dream home? Eek! In the past I used to hold things in, I would tell him things with my mind (Ha! Anyone else do this?) or be too afraid to rock the boat and make anyone feel upset about my needs. The past Julie would've lived here in misery for years! Again, something SPSC has helped me with in terms of being vulnerable and speaking openly and honestly with him. When I brought it up, it was received but I could tell he thought the idea of moving was absurd and definitely too much work (we still had some left over reno work to do). Weeks passed and I increasingly felt the need to move. So we continued to talk about it. The thing is, I could've compromised in some way but have come to realize that when we compromise in a relationship, we are giving up on ourselves. And no one wins. I had to work through a lot of guilt that came up for not loving this home as much as my family did. Luckily, during this time, he was also working on his hopes and dreams and the things that light him up. After more discussion, we both realized that this home was a stepping stone to get us to our next adventure together where we can all feel comfortable, safe, happy and loved. A WIN for all!

Remember, I mentioned there were two things driving the decision? Well, the other was spirit baby #4. Calm down, no I'm not pregnant. Let me explain. One of the things I've discovered through the Soul Parent | Spiritual Child TM program is that the spirit of our child is connecting with us prior to conception. Even before your child is a thought in your mind, they are driving your decisions, to prepare you for them. The same happened when we moved to this home, from the city and I was pregnant with baby #3, as he wanted to be born here. Any Mamas out there, reflect back to before you became pregnant, it's quite fascinating.

Over the months following our decision to move, I became very anxious about timeframes and having to get things done. My behaviour became very irrational at times, which I feel I've worked on quite a bit, so it felt very odd to experience this so frequently. It became very clear one day, that this move was just as much being led by the spirit of my child and it felt like a very urgent energy. So this move wasn't just my big idea but I feel like the spirit of this child is very much working with me in terms of what is important to my soul in this coming year. Will the spirit of this child ever come through? We'll see. But I'd like to Thank Her for guiding me to where I am meant to be for now.

So off we go, onto the next big adventure, the next big idea. We sold our home in 7 days. And we purchased another, not too far away. I can't wait to share where we are headed! If you are interested in learning more about Soul Parent | Spiritual Child TM, do reach out! It'll change everything.